Tuesday, July 29, 2008

An Update About Me

I went to see my breast cancer surgeon and the plastic surgeon yesterday. My surgery date will be August 26th. Initially, they had scheduled it for THIS FRIDAY! (I have to share that the rush wasn't because of medical reasons; nope, it was due to coordinating the schedules of both surgeons.) Yeah - like a few days away FRIDAY. No way. I just couldn't do it. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I have cancer, much less only having 4 days to try to take care of the little details before I have surgery.

My cancer surgeon assured us that waiting a few weeks is just fine; no problem at all. So August 26th it is...

I'll be having a bi-lateral mastectomy with breast reconstruction. I'm scared out of mind to have surgery, to be perfectly honest. I've never had any kind of surgery and I've only been in the hospital to have my babies. I'm not a fearful person, by nature - but the thought of all that makes me sick to my stomach. I'm afraid. I've been praying like you wouldn't believe.

I'm also a very, very self-sufficient independent person. Not like I have too much pride to ask for help if I need it kind of independent. Nope, I just mean like if I can do it myself, then I will. So that's the other part of this I'm going to have a struggle with....being dependent on others. Oh, I'll certainly appreciate all of it but I know how I am and it won't be very easy for me.

Laughter and joking around has been such a great big help in dealing with this. My husband *knows* that and he's so funny anyway. We had to go back to this little room and watch an informational video when we first got to the plastic surgeon's office. The video had just started and Bobby looked over at me with a twinkle in his eye and said something like, 'Don'tcha think we need some popcorn?' LOL Of course he wasn't serious; he just lightened it up a bit!

We're still planning to go on our Chicago trip at the beginning of next week. There are also a few other important things happening in the days leading up to my surgery. Bobby's 25-year class reunion will take place on 8/23; our son Tyler will celebrate his 17th b-day on 8/24; and last but not least, 8/25 is Bobby's b-day and our 18th wedding anniversary.

In the meantime, I'll be having several more tests...scans of my pelvic & abdomen and a CT scan. Let's just pray and believe all goes well with those, shall we? I'll keep you updated on all of that, too.

I'm just taking it day by day and thankful for each one. I'm not choosing to look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. Nope, I've got a lot of living left to do.

Until next time,


  1. Yes my friend!! There IS still too much here you need to do, so no time for the annoying devil to be messin' with us right!!! Your attitude, your faith and your strong will is what is keeping your head high! keep it up, and we all our continuing to pray for you.
    You have a busy busy month, wonderful celebrations, and your surgery will be the start of a new beginning also, a beginning of
    renewed faith.

    Dear God,
    Thank you for the life of my friend Michelle .......she is your most precious child, keep her safe in your hands and help her to remain full of faith and strength.
    In Jesus Name,

  2. Sweet Michelle, I am lifting you up in Prayer, and have you on a prayer chain! You are going to be fine, I want to email you as a fellow Breast Cancer Survivor I have A LOT of insight for you! Thank the Lord for your Son Tylers Protection AMEN! Lets Talk! Diana lyn

  3. Hey Michelle,
    I'm praying for you! It's all going to be just fine!

    My little nephew-in-law got great news yesterday. He started this journey on June 6 and his PET and MRI scans (among other tests) that he underwent last Friday all showed no evidence of cancer! He had a cancerous tumor behind his eye and a few spots elsewhere in his body, plus some cells showed up in his spinal fluid. But, God is good and he is being completely healed. You will be too my friend!! I just know it!

    ((((hugs))) and prayers!

  4. You have a very busy month ahead of you with lots to do...but through it all, God is in control and with you always, carrying you. Michelle, God only wants the best for you and I'm relying on Him to only give you the best!

    Take care friend!

  5. Hi Michelle,
    You are going to be busy!
    You sure are Blessed with a wonderful husband! SO thankful hes there to help you thru!
    My Love, thoughts and prayers are with you. I also have a pray chain going for you!

  6. I think laughter (and prayer) is the best medicine. What a blessing Bobby is for you, hey :) He's so hilarious and I know he is cracking you up all the time :)

  7. Praying for you!!! Enjoy your trip and all the other happy events!!! I will pray for peace when you go into surgery! My friends did that for me when I had oral surgery and it made the experience better! Even when I was having trouble during the procedure and the dentist said something snippy...I told him...well I have Jesus with me! I could feel the power of prayer the whole time! So count me in on the prayers that day!

  8. I believe God is hearing and answering our prayers. You get to go on your mini vacation! So keep your chin up. He will get you through this and guide the surgeons hands so you will be fine.

    I've had several surgeries and I'm a strange one because I enjoy "going under". I've even had a few scary things happen but it didn't bother me at all. Once they give you that first shot...you don't have a care in the world.

    I had neck a surgery that I was told was 5 times worse then open heart surgery. My pain Dr. told this to me. My family laughs because as I was coming to and being pushed down the hall to ICU I saw my family and they said I had a BIG smile on my face and said "This is great! You should have this surgery".

    I know I'm crazy. But, I hope you are crazy too and have a wonderful time. Try not to worry as God is taking good care of you. That I promise!


  9. Michelle:

    I am standing with you on this and praying for complete healing. God is so merciful and just and I know He has amazing plans for you dear precious one......enjoy your vacation and feel this big hug around you....

    Debbie Kay

  10. I know you're scared, Michelle, but you've got so many praying for you, that I know you'll have a peace about it all. Praying for all your scans to go well, too.
    It's a good thing to have a lot of upcoming events to keep you busy and occupied until the end of August. That will also help.
    I'm very much like you, in that I prefer to do things myself. I had to learn to let go, and let others help me a few years ago, and it was hard, but I learned a few things about myself. I am not in control. :o) God IS, and I am ever so grateful....
    Blessings and hugs,

  11. Praying that God will give you peace during this time before your surgery.

  12. Hi Michelle! I am so happy that you stopped by my blog!! I LOVE that we are both Michiganders!! I am in Midland, where are you?? I would love to get together! How COOL that we will both be in Chicago at the same time, lol! What are the odds!

    I have been reading through your blog. What a beautiful family you have! I am so so so very sorry for what you are going through, my heart just aches for you. I am adding you and your family to my prayers and sending you tons of hugs. I hope that we are able to become friends. I do not think it is selfish at ALL that you wanted to postpone the surgery for after your trip! You need to do whatever you need to do to comfort yourself at this time.

    Much love and prayers,

  13. Michelle,

    I just found your blog via Jan and Tom's Place.

    I thought to myself that I must write to you.

    I am 40 years old and was diagnosed with LCIS(Stage 0 Breast Cancer). I know it's not at the same place that yours is at, but I have to share something with you.

    I also had never had surgery before my wire biopsy. I was very nervous about the whole thing, until I came across an article that talked about Joshua going into his first battle. Joshua was scared and did not think he would succeed. God told Joshua the words, Chazak v'Ematz. This is Hebrew for be strong and courageous.

    These words became my mantra. Everytime I would feel anxious, I would say these words. I even put them on my screen saver at work.

    The day that I went into surgery, I said these words over and over. There really is power in these words, because they come directly from God.

    You certainly do not have to use these words, but maybe find something that gives you peace and concentrate on that.

    Also, another thing. I know this sounds strange, but on the morning of my surgery, I could hear my soul tell me that it would take over and I just needed to lie back and let my soul do all the work and worrying. This also helped me a great deal.

    Remember the Lord is with you. Attitude is everything in healing and living.

    From the little bit that I have seen of your blog, I have no doubt that you are a fighter and a survivor.

    You will be in my prayers.

    Many blessings to you.

    Sunbonnet Cottage

  14. Hi Michelle...yes, you do have alot of living left to do. God will watch over you...you are in my prayers every night.

    Stay strong...

    By the way...I showed the pic of the car to my daughter (she's 19), because she never wears her seatbelt. Let's hope it knocked some sense into her!!


  15. :)glad to hear that you have a plan. I always feel better no matter was the challenge is if I have a plan of action. It makes me feel more in control of the situation. Enjoy the good times that come your way and take it easy. you are in my prayers. and I can not wait to hear about your fun in Chicago.

  16. Michelle,

    Thank you so much for stopping by Sunbonnet Cottage.

    I just thought of something.

    If you get the opportunity, please stop bt Kat's blog. It's called Justabeachkat. She is a breast cancer survivor. Her blog is absolutely positive. I adore her. In her past posts, she talks about her experiences going through breast cancer treatment.

    You will love her. She is a ray of light.

    You will continue to be in my prayers.

    I'll visit soon.


  17. Hi Michelle.
    So sorry not to have gotten back with you sooner. My dear sis was here from Jacksonville Florida and I was pretty busy with her here. I so appreciate that you told me about your cancer. You will be in my prayers daily. God is good and you sound like you have a great support team and family around you. If you ever need anything...I am the champ of surgeries (at least 11) so if there's any questions you need answered call me (734)459-7574. Also, be prepared to LET others help...Knowing that other's LOVE you and want to help will bring a comfort like you have never experienced. Plus they will be using the gifts that GOD gives them and you don't want to deprive anyone of that.

    I lift mine eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD the maker of heaven and earth...Psm 121:1,2...Those verses have been my mainstay for the past year...I hope they might bring some much needed relief and comfort from our Lord for you.

    GOD Bless...Lorena

  18. Michelle do not be scared..it's not so bad..I had a Tram Flap..with my reconstruction..and I was up and down stairs as soon as I came home..You'll be a bit uncomfortable for a few days, then it will be better..
    You'll also know more after the surgery and the pathology
    which so helps..
    love ..Deena

  19. Trust always cancels out fear, I am learning. Sometimes it is a hard lesson for me to learn, because I have been down some dark fear roads...
    The darkness has enabled me to see the light of His Grace.

    I can tell that His Grace is all over you and your family. Your children will grow deeper in their faith because of this, I believe!
    Peace to you this night.


I appreciate each and every single one of you who stops by for a visit...thank you! Please leave me a comment...I really love hearing from you :)