I went to see my breast cancer surgeon and the plastic surgeon yesterday. My surgery date will be August 26th. Initially, they had scheduled it for THIS FRIDAY! (I have to share that the rush wasn't because of medical reasons; nope, it was due to coordinating the schedules of both surgeons.) Yeah - like a few days away FRIDAY. No way. I just couldn't do it. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I have cancer, much less only having 4 days to try to take care of the little details before I have surgery.
My cancer surgeon assured us that waiting a few weeks is just fine; no problem at all. So August 26th it is...
I'll be having a bi-lateral mastectomy with breast reconstruction. I'm scared out of mind to have surgery, to be perfectly honest. I've never had any kind of surgery and I've only been in the hospital to have my babies. I'm not a fearful person, by nature - but the thought of all that makes me sick to my stomach. I'm afraid. I've been praying like you wouldn't believe.
I'm also a very, very self-sufficient independent person. Not like I have too much pride to ask for help if I need it kind of independent. Nope, I just mean like if I can do it myself, then I will. So that's the other part of this I'm going to have a struggle with....being dependent on others. Oh, I'll certainly appreciate all of it but I know how I am and it won't be very easy for me.
Laughter and joking around has been such a great big help in dealing with this. My husband *knows* that and he's so funny anyway. We had to go back to this little room and watch an informational video when we first got to the plastic surgeon's office. The video had just started and Bobby looked over at me with a twinkle in his eye and said something like, 'Don'tcha think we need some popcorn?' LOL Of course he wasn't serious; he just lightened it up a bit!
We're still planning to go on our Chicago trip at the beginning of next week. There are also a few other important things happening in the days leading up to my surgery. Bobby's 25-year class reunion will take place on 8/23; our son Tyler will celebrate his 17th b-day on 8/24; and last but not least, 8/25 is Bobby's b-day and our 18th wedding anniversary.
In the meantime, I'll be having several more tests...scans of my pelvic & abdomen and a CT scan. Let's just pray and believe all goes well with those, shall we? I'll keep you updated on all of that, too.
I'm just taking it day by day and thankful for each one. I'm not choosing to look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. Nope, I've got a lot of living left to do.
Until next time,