Random Thoughts

The whole weekend was something of a blur for me. One day passed into the next of laying down either in bed or on the couch, being so so sick. The anti-nausea medicine didn't seem to help. That headache I had? It just kept going on and on beating inside my head like a drum. I cried. I prayed. I cried some more.

I went to the oncologist's office on Thursday for the 'boost up' shot. The nurse told us it might make me feel like I had the flu. I had to laugh at the irony of something that's supposed to 'help' affecting me the way it did.

I HATE chemo! I HATE cancer! I HATE feeling so sick and helpless! To think I have to endure 3 more rough treatments like the one I just went through sets me over the edge. (But I guess the last 12 ones with another kind of drug aren't supposed to be AS bad.)

My mind keeps going back to Philippians 4:13...'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. Yes, ALL things - even chemo... God hasn't left me. I am not alone. I know it will be okay. It's just hard walking through it, that's all.

It's the middle of the night right now but I can't sleep. My mind is anxious, filled with thoughts of a entire day's doctor appointment I have today. Bobby & I have to be at the University of Michigan Cancer Care Center bright and early. There we'll meet with a group of doctors who will review my case. (How weird is it to think of myself as a 'case'?!) We've been told it will last the entire day, beginning @ 9 AM right on through to 5 PM. I don't know what to expect. The hospital was supposed to send a package of information UPS but it hasn't arrived in time. I don't like not knowing.

May I ask something of you? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE ladies...do your self-breast exams on a regular monthly basis...KNOW your own body...have a mammogram (push to have one, if need be)...be vigilant about early detection!!!! Don't wait; don't put it off 'until next month' or whenever.

I'll continue to update...