Honesty

I cried last night. Lots of tears. It was 1 AM and the stress of everything that's been going on hit me full force right in the face. I don't think it's a bad thing to cry. I think tears relieve stress. I think it's perfectly fine to be honest and pour all of your feelings out before the Lord. So I did. I don't always feel very strong; I'm just trying my very best to stay positive and make it through these awful circumstances of life. I'm not mad at God. I'm not questioning WHY all this stuff is happening. No, I don't understand it and I don't like it one bit. But I always want to try to go to God with everything.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you." I Peter 5:7

You see, God intimately KNOWS each one of our hearts...our deepest concerns...all of our worries and cares. God knows I want to keep my girls in the same school district. God knows it's important to my Tess to remain going to that school because she just made captain of the cheerleading squad. In her 12 year old world, THAT is big stuff to her ~ so it's important to me, too...I respect that and don't think it's silly or have the attitude, 'oh, she'll get over it'.

God knows exactly where a new house needs to be located. God knows how many bedrooms we need. God knows Bobby & I can't physically lift anything right now to pack up a house and move. God knows what day we have to be out of this house. God knows our finances, right down to the penny.

BUT I HAVE CONFIDENCE THAT NOT ONLY DOES GOD KNOW...HE CARES...AND HE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERY LITTLE DETAIL in the situation! It's MY job to trust him and rest. Rest in knowing that HE WILL work on our behalf!

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Romans 8:28

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1

A Sweet Visit

I was feeling well enough last night to go to the hospital with Bobby to visit his mom. (Don't worry; I DID NOT overdo it! Believe me, Bobby wouldn't have let me go otherwise!) It was so good to see Sandy and my father-in-law, Bob. We only stayed for about half an hour or so.

It's really quite amazing how far advanced the medical field has become. Bob was telling us they took care of that blocked artery in just about 15 minutes time! (He showed us the picture, etc.) Sandy is doing very well, although they're probably going to keep her just one more day to ensure that her blood is not too thin. From what Bobby was explaining to me on the phone a few minutes ago, there are some concerns with that.

I've got to really take a few minutes here and tell you just how good God is...and how HE really IS in all the little details.

Sandy & our oldest daughter Taylor were the only ones at the house when Sandy had the heart attack. Apparently Sandy was laying on the couch in the living room and Taylor was on the computer. All Taylor really knew is that Grandma wasn't feeling well and was resting.

Bobby had been at work (I know, I know - he probably shouldn't be back to work already - there's no use arguing with him - I've already tried over the years!) and had to make a trip home because his incision was leaking through his shirt and he had to redress it. Well, that right there just goes to show ya how God is in the details.

Sandy was on the couch shaking when Bobby walked in and he told her how awful she looked. She let him know she'd already taken a nitro pill. He gave her an aspirin and told her he was calling for an ambulance. Sandy tried to dissuade him, telling Bobby that her husband was already on the way to get her. Bobby persisted and the ambulance came. They determined right away she'd had a heart attack.

Bobby called me in my hospital room (I hadn't yet been discharged) to tell me what was going on. I just couldn't believe it; I really couldn't! I just laid in that bed, wondering what else could go wrong and feeling quite a bit like Job, to tell ya the truth. I let the nursing staff know what was happening and they said to not even worry about going home that day, at that point. Bobby did end up getting me from the hospital late that afternoon and honestly, I'm so glad he did. It's been really good to be home. Of course I've been resting better and more comfortable here. The first roommate I had was deaf and she yelled back at her TV a lot and also seemed to just stand there and stare at me before she'd go into the bathroom. That was REALLY kinda creepy, I'm tellin' ya!

I had another restful night's sleep last night. I'm getting stronger each day. I'll go see my breast surgeon for a follow-up appointment sometime during this next week. As our daughter Taylor shared in the update about me, the doctors did find another suspicious area during surgery. It was behind my chest wall. They feel they got everything, from what I understand. I will have to undergo chemotherapy, though. I'm pretty shaken by that news, but what can ya do, really? It's just something I'll have to endure....

A 'Sandy' Update...and oh, guess what? ANOTHER Prayer Request

Good afternoon, everyone. My goodness, what a trying time it has been lately. Just wanted to update about my mother-in-law. I talked to Bobby a few minutes ago and he let me know that the doctors did the heart cath this afternoon and found one of Sandy's arteries was very blocked; they were able to put in a stent (sp?) and she's doing well. I'm so glad, so relieved - oh my, you just don't even know!

Seems like all I've been doing is asking for prayer lately. But here goes with another one! We lease the house we're living in and got a letter today notifying us that we have 60 days to move. Can you believe the timing of all this? I'm just stunned. Absolutely stunned. Here's the problem....our number one priority is to keep the kids in the same school district and we live in a small community that doesn't have a huge rental market. For many reasons, we're not planning to buy a house at this time. Bottom line, folks, WE NEED A MIRACLE!!!! Please pray that we're able to find another place to live...quickly!

On the positive side, I'm feeling stronger with each passing day since the surgery. It has done me nothing but good to be at home recovering! I was able to get a shower today (hey, I was even able to shave my legs LOL) and fix up. I did my hair, put on some make-up and a cute outfit. That has helped a whole lot, let me tell ya!

I've really appreciated your outpouring of love, concern and prayers :) Tomorrow I'm going to have a few visitors! My sister, niece & nephew, my aunt (mom's sister) and possibly my brother. So that'll be nice :)

Enjoy your weekend :)

Your Prayers STILL Needed

Hello all - Michelle here. I just got home not too long ago. They kept me in the hospital an extra day because I was in so much pain.

Anyway, enough about that and let me tell you what else is going on. My mother-in-law had a heart attack at my house this afternoon. The ambulance came to get her and she is in the ER as we speak. They're going to do a heart cath. Bobby is going to eat something here at home; then go back up to the hospital. My mother-in-law's name is Sandy, by the way. Please be praying and I sure will update soon.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We're gonna get through ALL of this!

Just an update.

My mom will be coming home today around 4 or 5! She is still in some pain but she's doing just fine. She got after me today because i took SOOOO long to update this. but there you go 8)

The OTHER Birthday Boy and an anniversary :)

The happy bride and groom :) What I remember most about our wedding day was how nervous I was! (Well, that and also how tight the elastic was around my upper arms because of the sleeves on my dress! LOL My talented mother & I made my wedding dress and headpiece/veil! My mother's good friend used to own a flower shop and we did all the wedding flowers together.)
My sister Lisa was my matron of honor and Bobby's brother David was his best man.
Leave it to Mr. Goofy! He was laying there with the marriage license saying, "I can't believe I'm married!"

Taken in 2000...10 years of marriage

Today has been a strange one. It's Bobby's birthday today - and also our 18th wedding anniversary! But in light of the recent events, it sure hasn't seemed like any celebration! Bobby continues to feel better and is definitely on the mend from his operation. It's been rather difficult for him to just lay around; he likes to be 'on the move' all the time so sitting still is hard for him :) He remarked to me today that he'll just be glad when things return to a sense of normalcy around here. I said, 'yeah, no kidding!'

Anyway, I've been blessed with such a wonderful man and thankful we're celebrating 18 years of marriage!

A very Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to you, Bobby!

My Birthday Boy

Bobby holding Baby Tyler the night he was born - Saturday, August 24, 1991. Can't believe how young Bobby looks! This picture reminds me of the 'Lion King' movie when Simba's dad holds him up! LOL
Tyler and me...October 1992. I sewed him that adorable little clown costume. His name was on the front collar. Seems like it was just yesterday...where does the time go?
Tyler and Taylor, circa 1993. He was a little over 2 years old and she was about 4 or 5 months. Tyler has always had a very outgoing, vibrant personality. When he was about 3 or 4 years old, a lady at church complimented him on his blue eyes - to which Tyler replied as he blinked rather dramatically, 'Well, thank you - they're ocean blue!' He ran away from the school on his last day of kindergarten. I'm serious! Tyler felt like a lady helping out at the school field day was being mean to him so he decided to come home (we lived very close to the school and he knew the way to our house).
Here's Tyler on the first day of his 3rd grade school year. Aw, wasn't he so cute?! It's really hard to believe he's going to be starting his senior year next week.
Tyler loves music. He's a quite a musician and plays lead guitar in a band. The guys just released a CD this summer and play a lot of gigs around the area. I have to be honest and admit I'm not a big fan of their music style (metal) but that's all right :) Tyler writes a lot of the music for the band.

One of the things I love about Tyler (besides his great sense of humor) is that he's a very industrious young man. Ty's got a strong work ethic and boy, does he ever move quickly on the job. I had an opportunity to see that in action the other day when we were there for lunch after Bobby's surgery.

Happy 17th, Ty Ty! We all love you very much!

He's Been Sprung!

Yep, that's right...Bobby was released from the hospital a couple of hours ago - YAY!!! He's feeling just fine and is relaxing on the couch watching TV in the living room. It's so good to have him home again! My heart is full of thankfulness :)

An Awesome Report!

Oh, I'm so happy to report that everything went exceptionally well with Bobby's surgery! He is doing quite well and resting comfortably now. The doctor was able to perform the surgery laposcopically with just a very small additional incision. THAT was a miracle because they honestly didn't think it would be the safest way to do it, due to Bobby's past surgeries. You can't even imagine my relief right now; I'm so, so thankful Bobby is fine :) He is not expected to be released until tomorrow but Bobby is just itchin' to get outta there and hopes he can come home today. I know he's getting back to feeling like himself again because he's teasing the nurses and acting silly!

Both sides of our families were very supportive and offered to make the 1 hour drive to where we live so they could be at the hospital with me or help out in any other way they could. That was so nice and I appreciated it. As it turned out, my cousin Tammy & Bobby's aunt & uncle came to the hospital. Bobby's mom & step-dad were quite a distance out of town but we kept in close touch on the phone. (His dad is deceased.) After the doctor came out to the surgical waiting room to tell us how the surgery went and we knew Bobby was in recovery, we all decided to leave the hospital for lunch.

So, here's a funny little story about that...The Chinese restaurant where Tyler works is not more than 5 minutes away from the hospital and Tyler was working a double shift so we decided to go there to eat. They have a great buffet there. Tyler's job responsibilities include everything from bussing tables to refilling food on the buffet. Sometimes he's a host - just depends on the day.

Tyler was at the buffet replenishing one of the trays when we were walking to our table. (Now, I have to remind you that Tyler looks WAY more like Bobby than he does me so sometimes people don't always know we are mother & son.) So, as we passed by Tyler, I reached out and touched his back - you know, a cross between a little pat and a rub - and I said, 'Hi honey'...I'm sure the people around were wondering about that!!!! LOL (Tyler didn't say like 'hi mom' or anything :)

Speaking of Tyler, TODAY is that kid's 17TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TYLER BOY!) I'm planning to do a special post about the sweet little guy who stole my heart 17 years ago so check back later. For now, I have to get ready to go visit the other guy who stole my heart! LOL

Edited to add: Oh my, I can't believe I forgot to thank you all for praying for us...where are my manners?! I was raised to be a VERY polite person; that was a big thing at our house growing up and it paid off - my siblings and I ARE very polite adults :) So, THANK YOU!!!!!

An Update About Bobby

Here's what is going on with my husband...Thankfully Bobby's gallbladder did not burst; however, he does have to have it taken out and the surgery will be @ 10:00 a.m. this morning (Saturday). Not sure how long they'll keep him in the hospital; we've heard everything from 24 hours to 2, even 3 days. I'm praying for a smooth surgery and speedy recovery. My own surgery (bi-lateral mastectomy & breast reconstruction) will take place this coming Tuesday morning and more than anything, I'd love for my husband to be able to be there. It's so important to me. I love Bobby so much; he's been my rock and we've faced so many situations together throughout our almost 18 years of marriage (we'll celebrate 18 years on Monday!) - I just can't imagine facing this without Bobby....

I'll definitely let everyone know how Bobby's surgery goes. Please pray for us; believe me, I need all the prayers and support I can get right now.

Update: You know, there is ALWAYS a bright spot in ANY situation...sometimes you have to look real hard to find it, but most often it is there. Believe it or not, there is one in this current situation Bobby & I are facing.

When we first moved back to MI after living out of state for several years, we lived next door to a very nice doctor and his family. They were great neighbors and we enjoyed our time living there. We moved in a couple of days before our son's birthday/Bobby's birthday/our anniversary that year and the wife actually brought dinner over to us with cards and everything - it was so, so nice of them!

Well, GUESS WHO is the doctor that will be doing Bobby's surgery??? Yep, that's right - our former neighbor! This man enjoys a very good reputation in the medical field and we know him personally to be a great person. That itself has taken some of the nervousness out of this whole situation. Bobby commented to me last night that he was comfortable knowing this particular doctor was the one whose going to be doing the surgery.

There are little blessings all around - sometimes we need to adjust our perspective, don't you think?

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!

Please pray for my husband Bobby. He was up all night with terrible stomach cramping and drove himself to the ER this morning @ 7:15 a/m Just got a call from him - they think his gall bladder burst overnight and he'll more than likely be going into surgery. Gotta get up to the hospital; will update later; please be praying!

MORE Blogger Kindness!

Look what came in the mail today! Do you think the mail lady is beginning to wonder if something is going on? LOL
So many lovely things here...A blank journal, 'A Breath of Kindness' book, candles, a wooden jewelry box, a pretty little picture, a coaster set, a beautiful angel and the sweetest tag that says 'angels among us' on the front and Ps. 91:11 on the back.
Wonderful bath products and a beautiful embroidered pillowcase...

Today's package came from Jan & Tom over at Jan & Tom's Place blog. Jan, thank you so much...love everything! I appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity a great deal. I am also very appreciative of you including me in the Tuesday Day of Prayer on your blog :)

I also want to say another thank-you again to each of you who has left a supportive comment, prayed for me, sent a card or package...all of your encouragement helps me out emotionally more than you'll probably ever know. Please keep them coming (the comments, that is :) - I always look forward to hearing from you, so don't be shy - come out of lurkdom and introduce yourself!

Hope you're having a lovely week :)

Until next time,
Michelle

So Many Kindnesses...

So many caring people have reached out to me with gestures of love and concern after I found out I have breast cancer - from packages to cards...I've appreciated each and every single one and have been truly touched by so many in 'Blogland'. It means a great deal that you guys have taken the time to encourage me. Most days are good and I continue to remain positive; however, the bad days have still come and sometimes - to be honest - it's a little difficult to get out of the pit. Yesterday was one of those days. I am feeling much better this morning. I think a lot of it is that my surgery date is quickly approaching and with that will come the physical changes of what I'm dealing with. For the time being, it's still difficult to wrap my mind around this cancer diagnosis since I still LOOK & FEEL the same. All that is about to change in one week and there are still 'freak out' moments when I'm scared out of my wits. I'm so thankful I can take all that to the Lord in prayer 'cause He knows and understands everything I'm feeling and He will give me a peace that passes all understanding.
Thoughtful gifts from my sister - the beautiful bouquet of glads pictured above, a Hillsong CD, a magnet & a little book about healing. Thanks, Lisa - especially love the CD!
A great big box of assorted goodies arrived from Candy at A Pretty Home blog! Isn't that sweet little teddy bear sooo cute? There was a great variety of wonderful things included in that box...everything from pretty ribbons to good reading material. Thanks, Candy - I appreciate every single thing!
Emilie Barnes is one of my most favorite authors.
Assorted decorating magazines I can't wait to read!
A great reminder for me of what cancer CANNOT do! Susan @ A Place Called Home blog made this especially for me! It's sitting out where I can see it every day. Thanks, Susan - I read through it each day :)
A journal, notepad & pen from Jenn @ God's Not Done With Me Yet blog. Thanks, Jenn - I love everything! I thought I was going to start journaling at the beginning of this journey; I haven't yet. Don't really know why...just haven't felt like it right now, but I probably will at some point.

Wishing each of you a 'Happy Tuesday'!

Until next time,
Michelle

I AM THANKFUL, among other things!

Joyful. Thankful. Relieved. Crying tears of happiness - yup, I'm all of those things right now. Got the call yesterday afternoon from my doctor's office with the results of the tests I had done this past Tuesday (CT scans of pelvis/abdomen and a chest x-ray)....the cancer HAS NOT spread!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't that just the most AWESOME news? Well, I sure thought so! God is so good and I'm one thankful chick :)

Hope everyone enjoys a great weekend!

Until next time,
Michelle

I REALLY Liked Last Friday's Mail Delivery!

Look what came in last Friday's mail...a package...for ME! Yay! Kim (Kim's Treasures blog) sent me a lovely package just to say she was thinking of & praying for me and the family. How nice was THAT? Thanks, Kim...it meant so much!
Ooooooh, I could barely wait to see what was inside!
Kim included a lovely handwritten note...
Check out all the wonderful things that were inside the package!
Is this not so adorable??? I love all the detail! This sweet jar is filled with Bliss melt-away chocolates :)

Just look at the workmanship of these beautiful handmade cards...I just LOVE them! And look at that cute canvas bag with the yo-yo detail....soooo sweet!
This bracelet is just darling! Click on the picture for a better view. Look closely at the beads...see the breast cancer ribbon logo? Love it! My husband wears the pink wristband in support of me; now I can wear this pretty one :) Ya know, on that note...can you believe Bobby has actually had guys tease him for wearing that? They feel bad when Bobby tells them why.

A great big huge THANK YOU again to Kim for sending me such a wonderful package!!! You're one talented chick and I'm so grateful to be on the receiving end of such awesome things :)

Be on the lookout for an upcoming post about other special bloggers in my life who were so sweet to send me some very wonderful packages...man, I've been gettin' so blessed by people's thoughtfulness! Can't wait to share photos of the other things I've received in the mail!

Until next time,
Michelle

Chicago, Day #2

We didn't go to the Hard Rock Cafe but I got a quick picture of it...
The ferris wheel @ Navy Pier. We didn't go on it :) The last time I was on a ferris wheel was about 7 or 8 years ago @ Cedar Point in Ohio and it temporarily stopped when we were at the top - yikes! We were overlooking the water and it was pretty scary. Since then I haven't really felt the need for a ferris wheel ride!
A "Bubba Gump" restaurant @ Navy Pier. It was PACKED with people, even at 10 p.m.!
Check out the window washers on the side of this high-rise building! BLAH; I think I'd be sick...don't sign me up for THAT job!!!
This is part of the hotel restaurant where we ate breakfast each morning. Very contemporary, huh? I had to chuckle when I was trying to scoot that whole couch back in a little bit after I sat down with my plate of food from the buffet. The waiter was right there to actually push the couch in for you! It just seemed kind of funny to me :)
A gorgeous view of the city from the beach...
After breakfast on Wednesday morning, Bobby & I walked across the street to the beach @ Lake Michigan. Bobby has a tendency to give everyone nicknames...our family is no exception! Our oldest daughter, Taylor, is "Baby P" - which is short for Baby Princess. Our daughter, Tess, is affectionately known as "Ninny" or "Nin". Bobby thought it'd be funny to write the girls a little message in the sand. (I told him he spelled "Ninny" wrong; he just shrugged and said, 'oh well'!)


Wednesday evening was our dinner cruise on The Odyssey. The ship departed from Navy Pier, just across the street from the hotel where we were staying...
*Click on picture to enlarge* This tells about the Odyssey ship we went on. It was a very classy dinner cruise. The food was delicious :) I ordered some kind of pork chop with grilled vegetables. Sorry I don't have better pictures to show you of the cruise; they came out a bit dark :( The ship stopped near the end of the cruise so we could watch the fireworks going on near Navy Pier. They put on a fabulous show!

So, that concludes our wonderful trip to Chicago, folks :) We sure enjoyed a nice time away. It was like those two days were a special gift to me. The weather was PURR-FECT the whole time we were there and our travels on the way there & back were without incident (well, except for the nice chip in my windshield from a gravel truck on the e-way! We drove the new Vibe).

Thanks for reading about our fun trip!

Until next time,
Michelle

Blogland Meets Real Life

Here we are...bloggin' buds meeting up in real life! This is Kelly from 'Serenity Cottage' blog. Go check it out for yourself! Kelly is just as sweet in person as she is on her blog :)
Here I was sitting with Bobby just outside the hotel, waiting for Kelly to arrive. He kept teasing around and pointing various women out asking me, 'Is that her?' I was soooooo happy to finally meet Kelly in person! I immediately knew we were comfortable with each other from our first conversation on the phone confirming our plans for the day. Bobby & I were surprised at how we felt like we already knew their family! Kelly mentioned the same thing in her blog post about us meeting. Kelly's husband & their kids are just as nice as they can be. We enjoyed meeting you guys very much!!!

We sat & chatted for a few minutes, then decided to go have some lunch. We ate at a Chinese/Japenese/Thai restaurant. The food was very good, although I declined Bobby's offer to try a California roll. Kelly got brave and had a bite or two! The three of us talked and laughed; it was very enjoyable and the conversation was easy.

After that, Bobby decided to hang out at the hotel while Kelly & I walked a few blocks to a Starbucks. We visited some more and had a super duper time!

There were lots of cool outdoor restaurants like this all around. Kelly & I thought this was picture worthy so we could show all of you!

We each posed in front of a pretty arrangement along the sidewalk as we made our way back to the hotel...
Kelly & Bobby...
Kelly's son Brandon waited patiently :) Brandon is a guitar player like my son so we talked a little about that...
Brianna & Bobby, mugging for the camera...
Here we are exchanging gifts at the end of our afternoon together. Isn't this picture of Kelly's daughter grinning so cute?
This candle is absolutely adorable, don't ya think? I LOVE anything black & white polka dotted!
LOVE this mug, especially what it says on it :) Thanks again so much, Kelly!

When I first started blogging, I never realized I'd meet so many nice people...and I really have! Meeting a blogging friend in person was truly an experience of a lifetime and I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to do so. I've found so much support from so many of you bloggers after I found out I have cancer. Your thoughts, prayers & kind words mean so much to me, especially at this time. Thank you for reaching out to me. I've had some rough days and I realize more are ahead as I walk through this journey, but reading your comments has helped tremendously.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the remainder of our Chicago trip!

Until next time,
Michelle